Letter to a New Mom

michaela aline photography

Dear Pregnant Mommy,

I'm writing you this letter, because I'm SO EXCITED for you! Welcome to a new adventure that will add so much depth and dimension to who you are! This letter holds my thoughts at the moment of finding out you're pregnant. There is so much I've learned. There is so much YOU will learn. Maybe these thoughts will help give you a boost. As my dad always said -- "I want you to be launched off of my shoulders, learn from my life experiences". I'm not going to say everything you need to know, by any means. Heaven knows that we can't handle all that right now.

Take these words and do what you will with them. These are some things other people have shared with me and some things I'd like to go back and tell my past-self. So here we go...

1 || God gave you this baby right now on purpose! 

This child is a seriously amazing gift entrusted to you. You're a mom now. Own it! Embrace this fact. No one can take that reality from you. You will love this baby so deeply. You will fall in love, and you will choose to love.

2 || You've got this.

Trust what you know is true. Learn, yes -- but know that built inside of you are some remarkably cool instincts and intuitions that God designed. He's pretty awesome in His designs.

Grow your faith NOW so that you can tap into truth reserves when you may get weary!

3 || Your body will change. 

Yeah, that's pretty much just truth right there. 

You'll see numbers on the scale that you've never seen before. People will guess how far along you are all wrong all the time. You are both "so small" and "about to pop" to different people at the same time!

I thank God that I have a husband who loves me in all of my shapes and bumps and bigs and smalls. Look for those people in your life!

My recommendation:: as you outgrow your clothes, put them in a giant tub and take them out of your closet/drawers so you won't have to see the cute clothes you can't fit in every time you get dressed!! After your baby is born you can pull them out in order of size with the biggest clothes being on top, from when you grew out of them! You may not scrape the bottom of the tub, but you may. Life goes on!

4 || There are a million choices ahead of you. But don't make those choices out of fear or because someone else "said so".

It may seem like everyone has a horror story about pregnancy, birth, poop, teething, drama ... but their life is not yours.

Make the best choice for you and your family based on the information you have and the Spirit of God within you. 

Find peace in that choice.   ||   WISDOM > fear  ||    people pleasing

We may make completely different choices in all realms. and that's okay.

I'm Andrea Mitchael, it's great to meet you! I'm so glad we're friends! 

5 || Don't ride that guilt train.

These mom wars and guilt trips are dumb. Don't give into them. Don't play these awful games. Ain't no body need more of the devil in their lives.

Let other moms live empowered lives that they believe in. But for now -- don't guilt yourself! If you spend time "guilting" yourself, it will be easier to guilt others.

freeeeeeeeeedoooooommmmmm is the name of the game for Jesus -- so, yeah -- that's what I'm going with too!

6 || Ditch the labels -- and realize who you really are in the kingdom. 
Work out your faith right now. Get strong and ready for action. Put on the full armor of God and get ready for what happens next!

I'm a young married-natural-home waterbirthing-extended breastfeeding-gluten-free-primarily cloth  diapering-ECing-babywearing-homeopathic-part-time work-from-home mom of two

... literally none of those things where who I was 5 years ago. None.

Jesus loves me. This I know. For the Bible tells me so.

7 || Your life isn't ruined. This is your life!
Life is so amazing -- such a unique experience full of completely unexpected journeys and changes. The life that "would have been" had you not gotten pregnant does. not. exist. This is IT. Your one chance to make a difference in the world. You have this life. This baby. This opportunity!

8 || This is their childhood.  
Remember when you were a kid? That carefree-ness that someone was taking care of you and letting you have fun and pure joy? You are going to give that to someone else. You're going uphill to make their childhood memories, and you better believe it's worth it! Don't wish it away. and, by gollie, it's fast! Enjoy it right along with them!

9 || Babies are people too!
One day I woke up wracking my brain about why my son woke up in the night. What could I do differently. Research research. Stress. etc. But then it hit me. Sometimes I wake up in the night for no reason. Sometimes I just feel like crying. Babies aren't robots. Babies are people too!

Creative adaptation is the name of the game. Your baby will continue to change, you will continue to change. Try not to get boxed in. Try new methods and keep on going!

I remember telling someone Marshall never fell asleep in the car anymore and then literally on.the.way.home. he did! hahaaaa!!

I would never let my child eat ________, drink _______, say _______, watch ________......
or maybe you will. Let life happen!

10 || Ask for help. You can do this alone, or you can do this with other people.
I prefer the latter.

If you don't have good people around you, read good books written by good people. Don't think you're the only one to have ever raised a kid. Filter advice and add more tools to your tool belt! My pastor is always saying -- The people you surround yourself with are the people you will be like in five years... choose wisely!

There is so much more to share... my mind is reeling with thoughts. Stuff like "you are the expert on your baby", "take time to rest", "be intentional", "you're not alone", "you're going to mess up, but don't give up", .... all of the feels

Check out my post "Marriage After Baby" for some thoughts adding a baby in the mix of marriage!

Comment below, because I'd love to know:: 
What have you learned the hard way in the mommy journey?

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Our Birth Story Part 2

To read the first part of our story CLICK HERE!
Time was irrelevant to me. I had no point of reference, only working in the present. Knowing it could be close to "time", Josh asked, "When will you want her to start pushing." To which the midwife replied, "She'll know when". I remember thinking, "I sure hope I do!" But I did, and it was a relief! Of course I became acquainted with the notorious ring-of-fire that I'd heard about, but when I knew it the little one was getting close and was crowning, I realized that I might be able to actually catch the baby! I knew I was a couple of pushes away, but I waited until it made sense to me to push. When I did, and the baby was ready to come out--I guided the head in my hands, the midwife calmly checked him in the water and we slowly raised the baby to the surface.

I was overwhelmed with emotion, bursting out in tears of relief and of elation I held the little one and remember kissing and kissing his little face. HIS little face! It's a boy! His ears were like gummy bears and his eyes were soaking it all in! WELCOME TO THE WORLD! Josh wrapped his arms around us and held us both, together - his family!

The room filled with life and amazement! Our midwives checked our baby in my arms and let us enjoy our first moments. At last, I was able to share my son with others, my husband, our families. He peeked out of the little towel he was wrapped in, he looked like a dream.
I was able to feed my child for the first time, so glad that I had been given direction and support. Nursing my baby brought on the final stage of labor, the dear ol' placenta, so Josh brought our little guy out into our living room to meet his grandfathers. I labored a bit longer on the tarp covered armchair, annoyed to have to birth something that was not my baby, but thankful that it had served it's roll. It took longer than I wanted, I remember that, but soon it was delivered and I was glad to be no longer laboring.

Our family of three had some time alone, we had yet to finalize the name of our little boy. We waited to meet him and see what name suited this little person's person. We repeated our candidate names and discussed which suited him best. We agreed and brought him to the family to announce his name, tribute to our fathers. Marshall Jay. Marshall, for my dad's childhood nickname, and Jay, Josh's dad's first name. They were so honored and proud.

When walking to the herb bath in the other room, I remember my arm and leg muscles being quite sore, I hadn't even realized it until then! I was basically able to relax in candlelit sauna bathhouse that smelled like an Italian kitchen! Marshall was brought in at one point, gently pushing off with his legs and enjoying the water.

Then...it hit me...I WAS HUNGRY!!! My dad had prepared and brought over a platter of savory chicken and I chowed down! I ate and ate! My energy spiked and I was hyper as can be--not ready for bed, just wanting to stare at my baby! At this point the midwives weighed and measured Marshall and did whatever else they were supposed to do. Soon after, Josh and the little-Marshall-cocoon napped together on our bed.

Our midwives then gave us resources and said goodbye until their morning return. My mom fixed her bed on our big red couch while Josh and I prepared for the night. Every two hours, here we come! It was so exciting and memorable to care for the little guy that first night while our adrenaline and responsibility were peaked. Those quite moments of holding him, he looked so familiar, a joining of the man I love and the face I see in the mirror. I was surprised how much I instantly fell in love. I thought caring for my child would feel like an obligation, and sure, it can be hard sometimes, but it was so different than, say babysitting. Enjoying your time with children, but still looking forward to the parent's return. I was enamored and intrigued by each little feature. We determined that he had my hands, Josh's feet, Josh's mouth, my ears... but so precious and intricately formed.

In the days that followed, I was highly supported by my mom and my husband. They were (and are) the best! My mom brought me fresh made smoothies and made sure I stayed hydrated and fed. Josh was the master diaper changer. I realized it was several days in before I actually had to change a diaper! Our little apartment was quite the swinging door for awhile in addition to little check-ups with the midwife and doctor. I enjoyed everyone's company, but was pleased to also slip away to feed my child and have some quiet time alone. I knew my life had dramatically changed, so much adaptation and growth for my extroverted and people pleasing self was already in shape.

What I've learned by being a mother -- I am selfish. --and my selfishness just doesn't fly nowadays. Yeah, I want to have more sleep, freedom, no responsibilities... but you know what-- it is refining. I know I've changed, I didn't really want to change, but I think that's okay, even required. Life is all about growing, adapting, and changing. Life would be dull without difference. --and now that I have baby fever already creeping into my system again, I can only guess as to how a little number 2 will be a game changer. This is a good life.

Without the help of the LORD it is useless to build a home or to guard a city. It is useless to get up early and stay up late in order to earn a living. God takes care of his own, even while they sleep. Children are a blessing and a gift from the LORD. Psalm 127: 1-3 CEV

To read Part 1 CLICK HERE!

    

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