Letter to a New Mom

michaela aline photography

Dear Pregnant Mommy,

I'm writing you this letter, because I'm SO EXCITED for you! Welcome to a new adventure that will add so much depth and dimension to who you are! This letter holds my thoughts at the moment of finding out you're pregnant. There is so much I've learned. There is so much YOU will learn. Maybe these thoughts will help give you a boost. As my dad always said -- "I want you to be launched off of my shoulders, learn from my life experiences". I'm not going to say everything you need to know, by any means. Heaven knows that we can't handle all that right now.

Take these words and do what you will with them. These are some things other people have shared with me and some things I'd like to go back and tell my past-self. So here we go...

1 || God gave you this baby right now on purpose! 

This child is a seriously amazing gift entrusted to you. You're a mom now. Own it! Embrace this fact. No one can take that reality from you. You will love this baby so deeply. You will fall in love, and you will choose to love.

2 || You've got this.

Trust what you know is true. Learn, yes -- but know that built inside of you are some remarkably cool instincts and intuitions that God designed. He's pretty awesome in His designs.

Grow your faith NOW so that you can tap into truth reserves when you may get weary!

3 || Your body will change. 

Yeah, that's pretty much just truth right there. 

You'll see numbers on the scale that you've never seen before. People will guess how far along you are all wrong all the time. You are both "so small" and "about to pop" to different people at the same time!

I thank God that I have a husband who loves me in all of my shapes and bumps and bigs and smalls. Look for those people in your life!

My recommendation:: as you outgrow your clothes, put them in a giant tub and take them out of your closet/drawers so you won't have to see the cute clothes you can't fit in every time you get dressed!! After your baby is born you can pull them out in order of size with the biggest clothes being on top, from when you grew out of them! You may not scrape the bottom of the tub, but you may. Life goes on!

4 || There are a million choices ahead of you. But don't make those choices out of fear or because someone else "said so".

It may seem like everyone has a horror story about pregnancy, birth, poop, teething, drama ... but their life is not yours.

Make the best choice for you and your family based on the information you have and the Spirit of God within you. 

Find peace in that choice.   ||   WISDOM > fear  ||    people pleasing

We may make completely different choices in all realms. and that's okay.

I'm Andrea Mitchael, it's great to meet you! I'm so glad we're friends! 

5 || Don't ride that guilt train.

These mom wars and guilt trips are dumb. Don't give into them. Don't play these awful games. Ain't no body need more of the devil in their lives.

Let other moms live empowered lives that they believe in. But for now -- don't guilt yourself! If you spend time "guilting" yourself, it will be easier to guilt others.

freeeeeeeeeedoooooommmmmm is the name of the game for Jesus -- so, yeah -- that's what I'm going with too!

6 || Ditch the labels -- and realize who you really are in the kingdom. 
Work out your faith right now. Get strong and ready for action. Put on the full armor of God and get ready for what happens next!

I'm a young married-natural-home waterbirthing-extended breastfeeding-gluten-free-primarily cloth  diapering-ECing-babywearing-homeopathic-part-time work-from-home mom of two

... literally none of those things where who I was 5 years ago. None.

Jesus loves me. This I know. For the Bible tells me so.

7 || Your life isn't ruined. This is your life!
Life is so amazing -- such a unique experience full of completely unexpected journeys and changes. The life that "would have been" had you not gotten pregnant does. not. exist. This is IT. Your one chance to make a difference in the world. You have this life. This baby. This opportunity!

8 || This is their childhood.  
Remember when you were a kid? That carefree-ness that someone was taking care of you and letting you have fun and pure joy? You are going to give that to someone else. You're going uphill to make their childhood memories, and you better believe it's worth it! Don't wish it away. and, by gollie, it's fast! Enjoy it right along with them!

9 || Babies are people too!
One day I woke up wracking my brain about why my son woke up in the night. What could I do differently. Research research. Stress. etc. But then it hit me. Sometimes I wake up in the night for no reason. Sometimes I just feel like crying. Babies aren't robots. Babies are people too!

Creative adaptation is the name of the game. Your baby will continue to change, you will continue to change. Try not to get boxed in. Try new methods and keep on going!

I remember telling someone Marshall never fell asleep in the car anymore and then literally on.the.way.home. he did! hahaaaa!!

I would never let my child eat ________, drink _______, say _______, watch ________......
or maybe you will. Let life happen!

10 || Ask for help. You can do this alone, or you can do this with other people.
I prefer the latter.

If you don't have good people around you, read good books written by good people. Don't think you're the only one to have ever raised a kid. Filter advice and add more tools to your tool belt! My pastor is always saying -- The people you surround yourself with are the people you will be like in five years... choose wisely!

There is so much more to share... my mind is reeling with thoughts. Stuff like "you are the expert on your baby", "take time to rest", "be intentional", "you're not alone", "you're going to mess up, but don't give up", .... all of the feels

Check out my post "Marriage After Baby" for some thoughts adding a baby in the mix of marriage!

Comment below, because I'd love to know:: 
What have you learned the hard way in the mommy journey?

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How do you plan to Leave a Legacy?

In the here and now
It is a crazy life. Being someone's parent means that you will seriously impact their future, and I take that commitment very seriously. Right now I primarily focus on teaching my little boy how to live well for Jesus, take responsibility for his actions and obey his parents in the Lord.

Saving for College
Although it would be nice, I don't believe that it is super necessary to have enough money saved to cover your children's complete college expenses. It would be if you intended to pay for it, as parents -- but I also believe that many students who work hard to achieve great grades and test scores during high school, find jobs in summers between high school and throughout college can have a lot of ownership in paying for their own school and taking fiscal responsibility for it --with their parent's gifts and help as extra. That's where I stand right now on that -- of course, things could change.

The Unknowns
I haven't drawn up super official living wills and such, but we have spoken to my sister and her husband about our intentions for them to be guardians of our kids should anything happen to us. It is strange to think about, but important. I am reminded that we might need to get more figured out!

Leaving a Legacy
In my opinion, it is wonderful to leave your children and grandchildren a legacy! This may take many forms -- I think one awesome legacy that my husband's Grandpa has already given him was in the form of a Christmas gift one year to his entire family -- His grandpa recorded himself reading the entire Bible on cassette tapes! Isn't that amazing?

Another form of a legacy could be gifts of money, property, etc. This can give a boost to a family to help them build generosity in their own home, rather than having to be so tight financially.  I hope that I will be able leave a legacy and raise my children to inherit responsibly and graciously.

I sang this song for my school in Junior High:: I can't think of a better conclusion :)

In this week's link up with Mamas Tell All the moms are all writing on this topic -- so hopefully I'll have some help and direction to sort through from other ladies thoughts as well!

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Fall Back || a discussion on daylight savings and season's change

"Fall Back" is the best, right? Everyone's favorite day of the year -- to get an hour extra of beautiful sleep or to spend one more hour staying up to do something you enjoy! ... it's the best. except, sadly, if you're a parent of a little one who didn't get the memo. 

As you all are well aware -- daylight savings happened this weekend as we let our clocks and phones "Fall Back" and hour and adjust to the changes in light and seasons. On Saturday night we went to bed early (per usual) in anticipation of an early morning of set-up [we meet at a high school] and rehearsal for Sunday church services. 

Josh set his alarm for 3 am to get everything rolling on the day -- and we seriously sat there for several minutes discussing what the oven clock should say when he wakes up as opposed to his hopefully changed over phone time ... and what would happen if his phone didn't change. Did you have to seriously concentrate to make sure you had it right? We finally got our sleepy heads on straight and went to bed with confidence. 

My alarm was set for 5:45 am since I was singing on the worship band and needed to drop my little son at a friend's house beforehand (they're seriously the best!). Memories of last year's "Fall Back" were not fresh in my mind, but I remembered that it threw off my son's schedule. He typically wakes up between 6:30 and 7 each morning, no matter when he goes to bed. Sunday morning ... he woke up for the day at 5:15 am ... which, although early, worked out well -- and we were even able to have scrambled eggs for breakfast before his drop-off. However, he is STILL waking up at 5:15 every morning ... which makes this pregnant lady (and her husband) very worn out! 

I keep trying to adjust his naps and bedtime later into the new schedule in hopes that it will help the mornings, but it actually has been making matters worse -- but I'm too afraid to put him down super early, with fears of him waking up at 4:15 am! He's getting less sleep overnight now, which is wearing him down a bit.

Does anyone have any suggestions other than giving it some time? How did your "Fall Back" go?

Maybe I'll just switch to being my mom, up right at dawn and getting her day started and productive! Oh, but I love my sleep :) Thankfully the weather is gorgeous in South Florida right now! I can comfortably go on a walk during any time of the daylight hours and enjoy a nice breeze and stroll! Which is great for meeting my November Goals!!

 The view through our "Florida Room" the screened in back porch out our sliding glass door, which we can often leave open for air to flow through the condo!

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linking up:

Stay at Home Mom Q & A

I visited a fellow blogger's page and a great Q & A that I thought I would share with you! Pig and Dac's original post HERE! Thanks for the inspiration! I am also linking up with Mamas Tell All!

Are you a Stay at home mom or a Working Mom?

I am currently a stay at home mom, although I have worked part-time here and there since becoming a momma!

What made you come to that decision?

I have always wanted to be the primary caregiver and trainer for my children, and my husband was fully supportive and felt the same way. 

Was your mom a stay at home mom or working mom?

My mom stayed home with us (three girls) until my youngest sister was in middle school. At that time she started working, but was always off when we were home.

How old are your children?

I have a 2 year old and a little one growing inside, now at 16 weeks gestation. 

Are you part of any mom groups/play groups?

Most of the moms I know here in South Florida work during the day, but I have enjoyed getting together with them when they are able to, for play dates and strolls. I've gone to some toddler library programs, but currently nap time is interfering with the schedule.  I would love to be more involved with a mom's group -- especially during the weekdays. 

Did you always know you wanted to be a SAHM?

Yes, I didn't know that I wouldn't be in a full-time career for several years first, but I knew when I had kids I wanted to be home with them!

How long do you plan to stay at home?

That IS the question! I have been toggling around on this idea for quite some time -- namely, what schooling will we choose for our kids. I have been researching some different avenues, I was public schooled k-12 myself, but I've recently been wondering if that may not be the best fit for our family. Homeschooling is intimidating to me, but also sounds really cool-- but then I think of the amazing things I loved about my public school life, and it gets me back in the questioning mode. Time to interview Christian parents of quality South Floridian kids!

Did you go to school before becoming a stay at home mom?

Yes! I have a Bachelors degree in Worship Ministries from John Brown University.  

If you worked before having children, do you miss it?

I don't think I miss "working" per se -- I enjoy what I do with my family and am learning to embrace this season. What I do miss sometimes is having coworkers to chat with and new people to meet and converse with every day. I miss having the tangible job-well-done accomplishments of completing a task for someone else to evaluate. One day I'll probably go back to work and miss these days, so I won't take them for granted! 

What was your job/career before you became a mom?

I worked at Gymboree Play & Music part-time and part-time as an in-home tutor through Club Z! I used my degree on a volunteer basis and did a children's ministry intership at our church, Grace Hills! After my son was born, we moved and I did work part-time at our church as a Children's Ministry Volunteer Coordinator, Community Christian Fellowship. 

Do you have a daily routine or just go with the flow day by day?

We have a little bit of routine -- Marsh usually wakes up around the same time each day and naps generally around 11 am. He eats throughout the entire day. Bedtime is generally around 7:30 pm. I would say for the rest of the day, we go with the flow -- because we can! 

Do you keep up with the housework or is it shared with your husband/partner?

We share some responsibilities, but I'm responsible for laundry and aiming to tidy and keep up during the day. My husband, Josh has been taking out the trash -- since that's hard to do with a little one in tow and being pregnant. I appreciate that he does that! We both like to cook and shop for groceries together. I like unloading the dishwasher, and he would much rather load it! I work with the bills and find money saving opportunities (rebates, coupons, sales, etc.) while Josh works hard for the family!  We're a team :)

Do you do anything on the side to earn extra money? If so what?

Any of those banners or affiliate links could make a few dollars, but I haven't made much though the blog yet. It is more of a hobby, but I would love it if it were to grow! I am looking for more opportunities for a bit of working from home, especially in light of baby #2 coming in March!

What is one thing you love about being a SAHM mom?

I love getting to know my son and witness his growth and train him to do what is right at a young age. With a lot more of his *ahem* "opinions" be shared very strongly at this point, I am glad that I am able to be the one to reprimand and train him rather than another caregiver. I also love being more available to my husband if he needs me to run an errand or take care of something for him. I love that I don't have a super strict "normal" schedule at a job, because my husband's ministry responsibilities can have rather "odd" hours at times. We are able to have some mornings together when he works for the afternoon and evening, and we have Mondays together as a family! 

What is one thing you hate about being a SAHM mom?

It can be really hard to not hang out with friends/coworkers or meet people during the day --as an extrovert -- this is the hardest part. 

I will pose the same question to you! Leave me some comments below:: 
What "kind" of mom are you [or do you "plan" to be in the future] (SAHM, Working Mom, WAHM) and how do you feel about it? What do you hate and love about it?

    

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